


My Heart is a Ghost Town

by hollyus



Category: The Giver Series - Lois Lowry
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Inger and Fiona...the good lesbians, M/M, Swearing- Jonas says fuck lol, i MIGHT continue this but for now its a one shot, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 06:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12721356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyus/pseuds/hollyus
Summary: Jonas had been acting strange since he had become the Receiver-in-Training.He had interrupted their game of heroes vs villains- a game he loved-, placed his hands on Asher’s shoulders- Jonas wouldn’t even think about being rude-, and started looking at Asher in this way Asher couldn’t decipher.And now he pleaded for Asher to stop taking his Stirrings pills.





	My Heart is a Ghost Town

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if asher and jonas seems ooc in this ndaskjnsdjnsd :,,)  
> title is from Ghost Town by Veorra & The Tech Thieves

Jonas had been acting strange since he had become the Receiver-in-Training.

 

He had interrupted their game of heroes vs villains- a game he loved-, placed his hands on Asher’s shoulders- Jonas wouldn’t even  _ think _ about being rude-, and started _ looking _ at Asher in this way Asher couldn’t decipher.

 

And now he pleaded for Asher to stop taking his Stirrings pills.

 

“ _ Please _ , Asher, stop taking your Stirring pills!” Jonas begged, a sense of..desperation? in his eyes.

 

“Noooo way.” Asher said, alarmed. That was against a big rule, and it surprised him that Jonas would even _ speak _ of possibly breaking it. Jonas was a goody two-shoes if he ever saw one.

 

Jonas paused for a moment, eyebrows furrowing. Then his eyes lit up slightly like he had an idea. “It’ll be fun~” 

 

Asher huffed. “Why are you even suggesting it? You  _ never  _ break the rules! I mean, the bigger rules. Besides, what if you rat me out?”

 

“I won’t.” Jonas said confidently.

 

“Wait, what do I tell my parents? I can’t lie to them!” Asher complained. It was forbidden to lie to others in the community.

 

Jonas’ eyes darkened. “They already lie to you, Asher.”

 

Asher stepped back, a little startled. “Huh?”

 

Jonas looked away. “Just stop taking the Stirrings pills. I promise, there’s a meaning behind this.” 

 

“Alright.” Asher said softly. “But what do you mean my parents lie to me?”

 

Jonas wouldn’t answer. It was the end of the conversation.

 

\-----

 

The next morning, when Asher was supposed to take his Stirrings pills, he hesitated. His eyes flickered back to his dad (Did Jonas really mean it when he said they were lying to him?) and he quickly slipped the Stirrings pill into his pocket, emulating him ‘taking’ it.

 

He walked to school that morning feeling vaguely guilty.

 

\-----

 

“I didn’t take the pill this morning.” Asher whispered to Jonas at lunch. Not like he really needed to whisper, the surrounding people were too loud for him to be heard even if he used normal-level voice, but it was just to be safe.

 

Jonas smiled. “Good! Just wanted to let you know, I stopped taking them as well.” 

 

“Why do you want me to do this anyway?”

 

“There’s a reason behind it. But I can’t quite tell you until the Stirrings kick in again. Because of those weeks of Stirrings pills repressing the Stirrings, it’ll probably hit hard the first few days.”

 

Asher groaned. “Great. Is that a bad thing?”

 

Jonas hummed. “Depends.”

 

The five minute bell for the end of lunch started ringing. Jonas went up to the trashcan and swiftly rid his plate of his leftover food. Asher noticed a crushed powder a shade akin to the Stirrings pills also fall with Jonas’ leftover food.

 

Asher quickly crushed his Stirrings pill over his leftover food and did the same.

 

\-----

 

That night, he had a dream. He usually had dreams, but most of the time they were weird and didn’t make sense. Like Asher was flying in the air with his badger comfort object that he hasn’t seen in 4 years.

 

This dream, though, made sense. No- it made sense yet didn’t make sense at the same time.

 

It started with Jonas looking through a window. The light that fell on his face in all the perfect ways and the serene look on his face made Asher’s stomach churn in ways he didn’t recognize. In ways he forced himself to not like.

 

“Asher!” Jonas called, turning around. His clear eyes lightened. Asher swore he could get lost in those eyes. Goodness, what was he thinking?

 

“Asher?” Jonas said again, a questioning tone to his voice. Asher jumped. Ah, flapjacks, he forgot to respond.

 

“J-Jonas.” He stuttered. Jonas giggled a little at his stumbling. 

 

Jonas got closer and closer to Asher, abandoning the window. He took Asher’s hand gently and used his other hand to hold Asher’s cheek. Typically, being so intimate with someone other than your spouse was considered rude, but right now, Asher’s brain threw all that away. Jonas pressed his lips against Asher’s and Asher swore he could feel electricity pricking throughout his body. Jonas withdrew from Asher, however his hand was still around Asher’s cheek.

 

And that was when Asher woke up.

 

\-----

 

“Did you sleep well, Asher?” His mother asked.

 

Asher hesitated. Should he tell his mother about the dream? He decided against it quickly after a second of doubt. “Yes. No dreams.”

 

His family nodded. 

 

“I slept well.” His mother said, motioning to Asher’s father to go next.

 

“I had a dream about my job. We had become fish people.” His father chuckled.

 

“Eeeew, slimy!” Asher stuck his tongue out in disgust.

 

His mother turned to Phillipa, bouncing the One a little. “I suppose you have no dreams, but how would we know?” Phillipa babbled in response, fidgeting with her comfort object. 

 

The dream-telling over, Asher quickly got his stuff together for school. 

 

And, once again, he didn’t take the Stirrings pill.

 

\-----

 

Jonas quickly came up to Asher once he saw him. “Hey, did you have any dreams last night?” He asked in a hushed voice.

 

Asher blushed, embarrassed at the pleasurable dream he had the night before. “Y-yeah.” He stuttered.

 

“Oh, I can see by that blush that that’s a Stirrings dream.” Jonas grinned lightly.

 

Asher put his hands over his face, hiding his red face. Others were looking at him, concerned. They probably thought he might’ve been sick. However, nobody called attention to it, for if Asher were sick, he could just walk up to the nurse and get the medication for it. 

 

“You two!” A familiar voice called. Asher turned around. It was Fiona, her grin wide. 

 

“Did you have any dreams last night?” Jonas asked. Fiona’s eyes widened, then she looked away. She wasn’t nearly as red as Asher, but she was still embarrassed all the same.

 

“Jonas convinced you to drop the Stirrings pills too?” Asher asked. Fiona nodded, her face returning to normal except for the big and dorky grin on her face.

 

Fiona kept her voice low. “I dreamt about Inger.” Inger was the girl who got assigned birthmother. She was pretty fit and always had an approachable smile. Asher had to admit Inger was pretty, but he didn’t notice her most of the time.

 

Jonas grinned. “Nice.”

 

Fiona turned to Asher. “Who did you dream about?” She asked.

 

Asher turned red. “Um...”

 

“You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.” Jonas said.

 

Asher hung his head, avoiding Jonas’ gaze. “I’m not gonna say.”

 

Fiona shrugged. “Alright, who do you dream about, Jonas?” 

 

“Uh, I don’t think I’m gonna say either.” Jonas laughed, his voice a little weak. 

 

“Aw, you guys are so secretive!” Fiona complained. But she caught the look Jonas shot Asher when Fiona had asked.

 

Unfortunately for Asher, Asher hadn’t.

 

\-----

 

Asher kept on having the dreams. They were different each time, but every time he was still left with the happy gut-churny feelings. 

 

And of course, they were still about Jonas.

 

\-----

 

After about a week, the Stirrings calmed down and the dreams only happened every so often rather than everyday, like Jonas had said.

 

However, Asher still wouldn’t stop feeling the Stirrings flare whenever he was around Jonas. Which was almost half of the day.

 

It was bothering, and contributed even more to the fact that he couldn’t pay attention very well in class. However, he still couldn’t bring himself the start taking the pills again. No matter how annoying it was, the Stirrings felt good.

 

A lot of the time, though, Asher drifted closer to Jonas, and Asher really hoped Jonas didn’t notice. Fiona did, though. Hecking Fiona.

 

Speaking of Fiona, Fiona somehow convinced Inger to stop taking Stirrings pills. If this trend continued, then the whole school would be experiencing Stirrings, and Asher did not want that.

 

When Fiona said excitedly that Inger liked her the same and that they were hanging out after work, he was happy for her. However, Asher felt vaguely jealous. He wished he could have that with Jonas.

 

\-----

 

A few weeks later, not much changed. However, Jonas was particularly antsy this day. Asher brushed it off as something that happened in Jonas’ training with the Receiver.

 

After class, though, Jonas stopped Asher. 

 

“Huh?” Asher asked. “Wait, aren’t you supposed to go to the Receiver immediately after school?”

 

“He gave me permission.” Jonas looked really nervous. What was he nervous for? He cleared his throat, looking Asher directly in the eyes.

 

“Asher, you know the Stirrings?” Jonas said.

 

“Yeah, of course.” Asher said, confused. 

 

“Well, I-uh- my dreams, um,” Jonas stammered. Jonas never stammered. He was usually so careful about word choice.

 

“Fuck it.” Jonas said, kissing Asher. It was a really brief kiss though, and before Asher could react, Jonas had already dashed halfway down the road. Asher touched his lips and his cheeks flared.

 

Wait, what was that ‘fuck’ word he said?

 

\-----

 

Asher couldn’t sleep that night. He kept on replaying the scene in his head.

 

He curled up in his bed, his smile all dorky. This is what Fiona felt like when she found out that she and Inger had mutual feelings for each other, huh? 

 

He really,  _ really _ hoped Jonas had meant that kiss.

 

\-----

 

When arriving to school the next day, Asher saw Jonas ahead of him and stopped. A bad sticky feeling went up in his throat. What if Jonas  _ hadn’t _ meant that kiss? What if everything would be awkward now?

 

Jonas was next to Asher’s locker, fingering a small-ish piece of paper. His clear eyes were darting around. 

 

Asher took a deep breath and went to his locker. “Hey?”

 

Jonas yelped a little and dropped the paper. He quickly picked it up again. Students looked at him, concerned, but didn’t really care.

 

“The Giver- I mean the Receiver, fuck, um, scolded me about what I did yesterday after school. So he made me write a thing in case words fail me again.” He fumbled with the paper, his hands shaking. The paper was slightly crumpled.

 

Asher reddened. Ah, the thing Jonas did yesterday.

 

“I really like you, not...not in the friend way, but ah, my Stirrings dreams are about you.” Jonas was clicking his tongue out of nervousness. “I love you. Fuck, you don’t know what love means.”

 

Asher didn’t respond. He had barely processed what Jonas had said.

 

“Like, when your gut is all happy and churn-y?” Jonas suggested, his grip on the paper tightened. Wait, was that what that feeling was called? Love?

 

Asher kissed Jonas on the cheek really quickly. He shielded the peck with his hands, though. Couldn’t let anybody see this.

 

“Is that what that is? I-I think-oh man- I think I love you too.” Asher said quietly. Jonas’ grin widened and hugged Asher. Asher was beet red. 

 

“Let’s go to English class.” Jonas said. The five minute bell rang. Asher nodded quickly.

 

When they arrived at the classroom and class had started, they held hands under the desk.

 

\-----

 

A few weeks passed until Jonas finally had time for..hanging out. Or a ‘date’. That’s what Jonas called it.

 

It was an unexpected holiday. Asher was happily munching at some peanut butter toast when Jonas had arrived at his front door.

 

“Your friend is here, Asher.” His mother called. Friend. Hah. Asher quickly shoved the rest of the toast into his mouth and cleaned up the peanut butter, then went to approach Jonas.

 

“Do you want to hang out?” Jonas asked. Code word for ‘date’ in front of people other than Fiona and Inger, Jonas had said a few days back.

 

Asher shrugged. “Sure. Let me change into...better clothes.” He motioned to the peanut butter stain on his clothes that he hadn’t been able to get off in the few seconds that he had before going up to Jonas.   
  


Jonas grinned. “Alright.” 

 

Asher dashed into his room and changed into nicer clothes. When he walked out, his father, who was in his own room drinking a cup of coffee, remarked, “Wow, Asher, you’re dressed strangely nice.”

 

Asher rolled his eyes and walked away. He went up to Jonas who promptly dragged him out of the house. Once they found somewhere with less prying eyes, Jonas kissed Asher and held his hand. Asher hummed contently. “You look really nice in those clothes.” Jonas said softly, popping up Asher’s collar.

 

“Thanks.” Asher smiled.

 

It was kind of nice being with the Receiver-in-Training since the community respected Jonas a lot. They struggled less finding a private place than Inger and Fiona did. ‘Lesbophobia’, Fiona claimed.

 

“So, Jonas, where are we going for this ‘date’?”

 

“Stop saying ‘date’ like it’s some alien word.” Jonas rolled his eyes. 

 

“I’ve literally never heard it used in context other than palm dates except from you.” Asher snorted. “I think it’s safe for me to call it an alien word.”

 

Jonas raised eyebrows, faking exasperation.

 

“Anyways, come on, let me show you to it.” Jonas giggled. He started running.

 

“Hey! No fair!” Asher yelled. No matter how old they were, they were always going to do races. Asher dashed after Jonas. He wasn’t the most athletic but dang, Asher was fast.

 

Some people scolded the two, but Jonas kept on running and Asher wasn’t about to stop for Jonas to win. Finally, Jonas stopped at a incline. It was outside of the community, but not far.

 

“I don’t think we’re allowed out here?” Asher muttered, eying the surroundings nervously.

 

“We’re not going to get in trouble, I’m the Receiver-in-Training.” Jonas grinned.

 

“How much are you going to abuse your power?”

 

“As much as I can to give you the best.” Jonas said cheesily. Asher rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face really downplayed the effect.

 

Asher had never seen an incline like this before. In the community, it was all levelled ground.

 

“Hill.” Jonas said, pointing at the incline.

 

“Hill.” Asher repeated.

 

Jonas went up the hill and Asher followed.

 

The view was surprisingly pleasant. Crops danced in the wind, and creatures with wings flew around, making a strange ‘chirping’ sound. However, Asher liked the sound of it.

 

The fields rolled for distances, and a slight breeze whirled around Asher. He saw a large creature with stick-like things coming out from its head and a smaller one with two giant ears that flopped over. Both were nibbling at the crops. It was pretty simple. However, Asher had never been blessed with views other than the houses of his own community. Next to him, he could hear Jonas’ breath catch in his throat. He turned around, brushing his hair out of his face.

 

“What is it?” Asher asked. Jonas had an astonished look in his eyes.

 

“You’re...really pretty.” Jonas said. Asher giggled.

 

“Ah?”   
  


“Fuck, you’re really pretty.” Jonas came up to Asher and kissed him. “My handsome boyfriend.”

 

Asher cupped Jonas’ cheeks. “You’re really pretty and handsome too.” Asher went in for another kiss and this time they stood in that position for a while, forgetting all their worries. 

 

\-----

 

It had been several months, and Asher still loved Jonas. Heck, maybe even more. They had gone on numerous dates and each one was more amazing than the last.

 

Today, though, Asher could see Jonas was troubled. “Is there something wrong?” He whispered to him in between class.

 

Jonas’ head snapped up. “No.” Jonas was lying. Asher could tell.

 

“I know you’re lying.” Asher said.

 

“You know me too well. Look, I’ll tell you later.” Jonas said.

 

“Alright.” Asher frowned.

 

\-----

 

Asher had asked several times, however Jonas refused to tell until a week later.

 

“Listen...Asher. I’m going to go.” Jonas said.

 

Asher tilted his head. “What does that mean?” 

 

“I’ll be gone soon.” 

 

“Huh?”

 

“That’s all I can say. Please don’t tell anybody.”

 

Asher nodded, confused. “Ok? Is this a Receiver task?”

 

Jonas chuckled weakly. “Yeah, you could say that.”

 

“So I’m going to see you again, right?”

 

Jonas was quiet. That worried Asher a lot.

 

\-----

 

A week later, Asher and Jonas both acted like everything was normal, but what Jonas had said clawed at him when he tried to sleep.

 

Jonas gave him a little envelope after school. 

 

“What is this?” Asher asked, shaking it. 

 

“It’s, just, ah something that I liked and I thought ‘hey, why not give it to my boyfriend’?” Jonas grinned. Asher opened it and it was a little crystal on a ring. It glimmered when light hit it and was breathtaking.. It was something some people got their spouses.

 

“Oh, that’s really pretty!” Asher said excitedly. He moved it around, admiring the way it shined. 

 

Jonas pumped his fist. “I knew you’d like it!”

 

“To be fair, you could give me a leaf and I’d treasure it forever.” 

 

Jonas rolled his eyes. He slung his arm around Asher’s neck and put the ring on Asher’s finger.

 

\-----

 

The next day was to be the Ceremonies. 

 

They no longer had to sit in their age groups. Asher still wanted to sit next to some of his friends (and Jonas) though.

 

He spotted Inger and Fiona and called them over.

 

“Hello!” Fiona chirped, Inger leaning on her shoulder.

 

“Hey Fi, hello Inger!” Asher looked around. No Jonas. “Have you seen Jonas?” He asked.

 

“No.”

 

“Nah.”

 

Asher frowned. “Oh well. Time to search for him I guess.”

 

A couple of minutes went by of Asher searching and the Ceremony started. Asher assumed that Jonas was with his family. It made Asher feel sad that Jonas didn’t want to sit with him, but whatever.

 

However, when it was midday and Jonas’ family asked if he was sitting with Asher, a bad, creeping sensation started to grow in his stomach.

 

\-----

 

Suddenly, a pang sounded in his head. Things- memories?- started to swirl around in his head. Other people were also acting bizarrely too.

 

In the state of confusion, the Receiver of Memory interrupted the Ceremony. The twists and knots in Asher’s stomach tightened. 

 

“It is sad for me to report that Jonas has fell into the river and has been lost.” The Giver said. Tilting his head downwards, he started the Ceremony of Loss.

 

As people started chanting Jonas’ name, Asher couldn’t join in. He felt terrified- no, terrified wasn’t the right word. What  _ was _ the right word? Shocked? He couldn’t think of one.

 

Jonas? Falling into the river? That’s..not possible.

 

And he also told Asher a week before that he would be going.

 

Jonas really was right when he said adults lie.

 

\-----

 

Asher stood upon the hill where they had their first date. He looked at the shining brilliance of his ring and thought painfully of Jonas.

 

So this is what heartbreak feels like, huh?

**Author's Note:**

> i might continue this but who knows. it really depends  
> sorry for the sad ending but there's really no good way for this to end aksjndjns
> 
> anyways  
> the giver tumblr - thegayver  
> main tumblr - general-nartis  
> screech to me about the Good Gays to me here!


End file.
